Fasting for a Husband You Haven't Met Yet
No, this isn’t clickbait. Today, thousands of women and girls across India are fasting for the long lives of their (future) husbands for Teejri.
Teej or Teejri (Sindhi) is celebrated on the third day after a full moon, on this day we celebrate the love of Goddess Parvati for Lord Shiva.
When I was a little girl, my mom and her friends had a set routine. One week before Teejri, the landline would start buzzing with planning calls. The well-connected aunty would arrange mehendi artists to come down and dedicate a parking spot for them all evening. They would all go to E-Square, the iconic and only theatre in Pune, for a movie in the afternoon.
Someone would find out the exact time of the moonrise and share the info with everyone. One of the older aunties would host the puja in the evening. And don’t even get me started on the shopping and dressing up. It’s as Sindhi as they could get!
After the puja in the evening, everyone would coordinate for the appearance of the moon. The building that saw it first would quickly call out to everyone else. We would usually go to the highest building in the area and wait there for the moon.
When the clouds cleared up, you could see small orange flickering lights all around on the terraces of the shorter buildings, showing how many women were waiting for the moon to come so they could break their fast. There would be laughter, chaos, and a celebration of the culture we love.
During the lockdown, there was a Zoom call with over 50 attendees where the puja was done digitally and everyone was wearing shades of red and pink.
This year, I went to my aunt’s house to get mehendi applied. There was so much life and laughter in the area. Everyone was discussing how dark the colour of their mehendi would turn out, what colour they planned on wearing, and where they would go for the puja in the evening.
This morning, we woke up at 5am to eat koki and prepare for a long day of no food. It’s an hour past noon, and I am sitting in my office writing this post. I will not lie – I am hungry. I can’t wait for the next eight hours to go by before I can feed the moon some milk and rice, and finally eat dinner.
And for the record, I got my henna done from a Sindhi girl who is super passionate about art, in the spirit of being vocal for local. For the last 12 years, tradition has been a part of the culture passed down to me by mom and grandmothers. My 94 year old grandmother got up in the morning and sang a Sindhi prayer for us while we prayed to Teejri Mata. It isn’t so much about the (future)husband’s health. It’s about the feeling of being a part of the community.
Even while living in California, I fasted all day with a hectic class schedule. In the evening, I dressed up and waited till I saw a glimpse of moon to eat for the first time that day. All while being on video call with the aunts and my mom back in India.
What traditions from your childhood have you carried forward – and which have you let go of?